Alternating common images and words with strange ones actually can add to a story, but too much and too many variations detract from the story so that the reader pays more attention to your words instead of your story.

Why should the reader love or hate the character you are writing about?

If you don't want to write dialog to develop characters, then write scenes (plural) that demonstrate their actions exemplifying the traits you say they express.

There are typos and word substitutions on a regular basis throughout the text, for example, 'twenty foot high.' Many of these errors are word substitutions, possibly autocorrects, so spell check alone won't help.

Editing and proofreading are required.

While I wasn't really happy with some of the side stories in this regard, I think that I would enjoy some of these tales if they were fleshed out and told on their own.

On a positive note, the author is pretty creative in populating his world with interesting creatures, and some of their back stories, sadly only a few of which are actually relevant to the plot of the story, are truly amazing and possibly unique. Why should I care more about Raven than any other person in the story? It was very hard to have much empathy for the two main characters. And while additional description could have been provided, there are very few scenes that give depth to these flat characters. It wasn't truly justified or explained, in my opinion.įurthermore, since the tale is told by a storyteller telling the events, the reader never truly gets inside the heads of the the main characters. Why should I care or believe that Raven is special other than she is devoted to her family and mentioned many times as being part of the prophecy. Personally, I had a hard time caring about the main character.

Very little risk is presented - scrapes, bruises, and some other minor injuries alone - and since the story is told as a historical account to a large group, the reader knows ahead of time that they will be successful.

Overall, their biggest challenge is walking/running to their next event. Given a magic sword, kill all the bad guys, run away just in the nick of time, get to the one area the bad guys won't enter, constantly given advice on how to move forward or where to go, everyone volunteers helpful advice, information, or guidance. I guess my biggest issue with this book is that while the story gives the seemings of an epic challenge and adventure, everything is pretty straightforward and easy for our heroes.

The Summoner by Randy Massey